12 Play Day

R Kelly - Bump N Grind
Uploaded by jade274

So, instead of Easter, a holiday which I no longer recognize or really endorse the celebration of, I propose this alternative: National 12 Play Day, in which everyone basically takes The-Dream's advice, puts "12 Play" on the boombox, and proceeds to get right with their significant other. Have you ever really listened to "12 Play" all the way through? I just did! And believe me, before the scandal and years of collaborations and guest verses, R. Kelly had a masterpiece already in the can. This album is amazing for whatever you happen to be getting into, not just fucking (a common misconception). Grocery shopping? Check; nothing gets you down the aisles faster than "I Like the Crotch On You". Awkward family gathering? "Back To the Hood of Things" will help you bide the time until you leave and get slammed drunk. See? Perfect.

If "12 Play" isn't available, substitute "Love Vs. Money" instead; kindred spirits, 16 years apart.